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28.4.02


Sorry. That petered out at the end. The reason is simple: Blogger explained to me that it is full, so I had to wait an evening just when the story was getting good.

So I wrote the seed of an essay called "Our Computers Are Down," that is suggesting a novel. I'll work on it.
Posted at 2:31 AM


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26.4.02


Let me try this out on you, my beloved public: A barbeque dinner, in three courses


Basic Recipe:


Sauce: 3 cans Tomato paste; 4 or 5 Generous tbsp molasses (I prefer unsulphured); approx 1 cup, (I like Free Range) chicken broth; 2 tbsp Worchestershire sauce; A good solid dash (about 1-2 tbsp) malt vinegar; some spicy sauce, salt and pepper to taste; A very small amount (1/2 tbsp or less) butter or olive or other oil; dashes of: cury powder, paprika, ginger and cinnamon, to taste;


Meat: I like boneless beef, but this works for chicken or pork; Marinate in a mixture of wine, vinegar and black pepper, tightly covered, for about an hour, adjusting to your personal taste;


Tofu Cutlets: one block of silken-style tofu; If you wanna make your own, go ahead, but I use the stuff from the store;


Kabobs: cocktail tomatos; quartered potatoes; carrot pieces; bell pepper; pineapple; skewers;


Dessert: Cored apples and bananas; brown sugar; about 1 1/2 bottles sweet white wine (Riesling works well, but it's your dinner); Butter if desired;


Technique:


Sauce: Put the tomato paste in a sauce pan on the stove, over medium heat. Add the molasses, stirring until combined. Add chicken broth, malt vinegar and worcestershire, again combining, following with other ingredients. If the sauce is too thick, add more vinegar. If too thin, let it heat for about ten minutes, then check it again. The liquid will, given a chance, evaporate. If your sauce tastes too much like ketchup, add molasses. To my taste, that seems to be the major difference between ketchup and barbeque sauce.
I like to add the chicken stock because I have a theory that a sauce for meat shoulc taste a little like meat before it comes near the grill. Again, I think it adds a certain concord between the base and the condiment.
Be careful with the seasonings. You don't want to kill the flavor of the tomatoes and mollases, and you don't want the sauce to be so spicy as to be inedible. On the other hand, you want a little flavor behind it, to add richness and depth. I like to add a little ginger and cinnamon so as to have another layer of flavor, behind the rest, a sort of christmas-y sweetness that will help the taster apprecate the bold, crass sauce.


Meat: I didn't do anything special with mine for this recipe. Indeed, I didn't even marinate. I just threw it on the grill and painted the sauce over the top. It came out a little al dente, but I like to feel the meat in my teeth, and none of my guests complained. If you want more tender meat, you can even boil it, but I can't give tips on that at this time.
This sauce works beautifully for beef, pork, chicken, and the following two also, but I don't recommend it for fish on the grill.
Let me just say: Boy, does meat cook fast on a grill. Watch it fairly closely, without letting opening the top too much, as it will let the heat out.


Tofu Cutlets: I know, I know, but I cook for a vegetarian, so I'm getting pretty good at playing with tofu. With this, I just pan fried the cut-in-half blocks of tofu until they were firm enough to hold together, then put them on a piece of tin foil on the grill, and brushed sauce across them. They come out like the most tender meat a grill has ever produced. I was proud, honestly, when my other, decidedly less vegetarian friend, spouted an Eeew upon the mention of tofu, then proceeded to eat a generous portion, making gurgilng sounds of pleasure.
These will cook a while if you let them, and they'll soak up lots of sauce in the process. Don't hold up the meal, but don't put the meat on until you've at least started the tofu.


Kabobs: These, we served as a apetizer, and cooked before the rest of the meal. They take, really, about five minutes, so watch them pretty carefully. We put the vegetables and fruit on the sticks, then layed them on the grill. I brushed them Very Lightly with the sauce, putting most of it on the potatoes, as they absorbed it nicely and tasted beautiful.


Fruit on the Barby: After the rest of the meal was done, I took two cheap-y foil meat-loaf pans, and put the cored apples and the bananas in them. I put brown sugar in the empty apples, and poured white wine over them, covered them with tin foil, and promptly forgot about them. about half-an-hour later, we went outside to play bocce, and I pulled the lid off of the grill. I peeled back the tin foil, and we ate the tender, lightly sweetened fruit with bamboo skewers. The finished product was more like applesauce than some people like, but adjusting the cooking time is an easy matter.


Ambience:


For this three-course afternoon, I just sort of put together an informal gathering of friends. The overt reason was to celebrate a mistake on the part of the local tax office, as they sent me a new set of licence plates for my car and insisted I change them. We had a platin' party, a tradition we started when two of my friends moved from Pennsylvania to Texas.


Apparently the PennDOT is notorious for keeping close tabs on its subjects, revoking plates when insurance is dropped, but not getting around to re-instating them when insurance is issued, even when there is an appreciable overlap time. One of these friends received a somewhat threatening letter from that group, demanding that, as she no longer lived in Pennsylvania, she must surrender her license plates Immediately, or face the full power of the law. We decided to have a platin' party, as I had tools and experience changing license plates, and a party is always fun. Plus, I knew where to get a pinata on short notice. Thus was the first platin' party born.


For this one, we just had a more relaxed sort of time, including Barbeque and Bocce, a game not unlike horseshoes played entirely with balls like shotputs.


Posted at 11:13 PM


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20.4.02


Speaking from an historical perspective, Craig Columbinetti was robbed. It was he, not his rival, Christopher Columbus, who discovered America. Indeed, Columbinetti discovered the first actual landform on mainland North America, almost sixty years before Columbus ever began his voyage that would put him in the West Indies.
Columbinetti, born Whendsley Upstrome of Brighton, discovered the Great Salt Lake of Utah and had a rudimentary map of the Mount Ranier/Mount St. Helens area as early as 1435. His bland and boring voyage to the New World went almost entirely without incident, although was badly received in either his native Britain or his sponsor country, Italy. The first of his exceedingly boring voyages began in 1450, when he was 20. He left from a small island port in Japan and was told never to return.
Using the maps he had drawn at age 5 without ever having left Brighton, he explored the areas of what are now Seattle, Washington and Salt Lake City, Utah. His names for the areas are lost to the centuries, as his trip was almost universally forgotten by scholars. His later voyages were forgotten, even by much of the crew.
There are two reasons for the scholarly ignorance of this expedetion. The first is that he claimed to have used some sort of precognition to draw the maps, and indeed wrote his travel journals in their entirety by the year 1440, ten years before the beginning of his voyage. According to the first mate of the crew, Columbinetti did not write in the journal on the trip, other than to tick off the days as they happened. The only great misfortune foretold in the journal was a shortage of crackers, which they weathered, as the journal suggested, by catching fish.
The second reason for Columbinetti's lack of fame has to do with these self-same journals. As it happens, the only reason Columbus' journals were interesting to read was because many interesting things happened to him, and the hardships of the trip seemed to reveal something of the character of the man. The journals of Columbinetti are a work of tedium. Indeed, in many colleges in England and mainland Europe, these journals were assigned reading as punishment for students who seemed too precocious.
One high point of the journal, though, is the instance of the use of a trick, made famous by Mark Twain, which Columbus used, but Columbinetti used first. According to the precoginzant journals, Columbinetti was attacked during his journies by natives. He attempted to amaze them by threatening to blot out the sun, knowing in advance that there was to be a solar eclipse. He was beaten by the natives, and told never to come back to Paris.
Thus the fate of Craig Columbinetti, arch rival of Columbus. He seemed even to know what the centuries had in store for him beyond his death in 1520 of head lice. His epitaph reads, "It wasn't that bad, you pricks."
Posted at 11:47 AM


A guy at work said to me, as I was ringing up his purchases, "Are you Mister Nihil?"
I was surprised and said yes. I don't really push the web page there. He said they get a lot of hits from this page to theirs, or they know there are a lot of links from here to there or something. He said keep up the good work. I was happily surprised.
It turns out he's the web guy there and I never knew it.
Posted at 11:25 AM


Simply put, there was nothing she could do.
She ran in circles for a while until she realized that she wasn't getting anywhere. Around and around the block, like a slowing top, getting nowhere but tired. She looked at the same buildings passing her, right-left, right-left, right-left; barber shop-loan office, accupuncture-fabric shop, gift shop-antique store, back to the barber shop. She never turned, never erred from her straight line, but she knew she was moving in circles. There was the old man sitting in a rocking chair outside the barber shop, there the old woman hobbling out of the accupuncturist toward her shop, the woman with five kids leaving the gift shop, and the tall man standing outside the antique store, and antique himself, waving to her with that smile.
He had too many teeth, and she ran faster as she passed him. Again.
The old man in the rocker, the old woman hobbling for the car, the woman and her kids, and the grinning gargoyle outside the antique store. This time, he opened his toothy maw, spreading apart those sharp, too-numerous teeth, and looked as if he were going to say something. She ran faster.
The people and shops whizzed by, now, old man, old woman, mother and children, and then time seemed to stop as she once more approached the tall man before the antique store.
His voice was a croaking hiss, the kind that comes out of the monsters under your bed just behind the edge of hearing, as they lie in ambush beneath your sleeping form. She could feel his hot, rotted meat breath on her face, and could see that his jacket and pants had been worm-eaten beyond the normal course of wear. Indeed, she thought she saw now several tiny worms writhing in the holes in his flesh.
"I'm waiting for you. Not much longer now. Soon, my dear, ssoon."
Then that jaw unhinged, revealing a black gullet widening to swallow her. With a sharp intake of breath, she tried to force herself to awaken, tried to divorce herself from this horrid reality. Behind her, she heard the slow scraping of feet, dead feet she was now sure, along the pavement as the old man from the barber shop, the old woman from the accupuncturist and the woman and her children moved in closer. She felt the hands grasp her, as the mouth expanded, and soon she fell into complete blackness.
Posted at 4:51 AM


Sorry to resort to personal attacks there, but it felt for a moment like the whole world had fallen asleep.
Posted at 4:38 AM


Revel in the glory that is you, you punk-ass bitch.
Posted at 4:38 AM


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16.4.02


Flash has scored a wonderful opportunity: Sunday, April 28th, Austin radio station 91.7, which is called KOOP during the day will be showcasing his band, which will include himself, DJ Caustic from SuperFlux, the original band, the entirety of The Influence, our other litle brother's band, and a pair of guys we've met here in Austin at the 503 coffee shop, where we probably won't be playing more than about once or twice.
The show will be a great boost for him and lots of fun for the rest of us. My folks are coming into town to be there, and also to see Tomie De Paola sign at BookPeople (you know the address already, and if you don't you should look down the page for the links marked "work.") (but it's also here.) He will be appearing and signing on April 27th, at like 4pm. They require that you buy a book, just FYI for those interested who also read this. I guess that's a pretty small niche audience.
Speaking of which, there is a magazine in our store directed at alcoholic catholic priests. Is that a specific audience or what?
So yeah. Life.

And I got a Nightmare Before Christmas lunchbox. I took it to work, and I think some construction workers there laughed at me. They were just jealous because they had to eat out of a cooler.
Posted at 11:14 PM


The Guitar is Here.

It's a Les Paul-style body, mahogany with a quilted maple top, three Seymore Duncan humbuckers (Pearly Gates, Custom-Custom, Jazz SD-2, bridge to neck), a five-knob system (so the 3-way switch acts as a normal LP, but with the ability to turn the middle pickup on and off with a push-pull nob, which the tech guy says is nine possible pickup combinations, but the Fender Guitar Company and I say that makes five positions), a standard bridge-stop tailpiece system (so no trem system, so no moving parts, so no loss of tune), schaller locking machines, a graphite nut, died green, carved top, fading to matte black back, with a matching quilted maple headstock, mahogany neck, uninlayed (at least for now. I'm still thinking about this) pure ebony fretboard (with some gorgeous hints of chocolatey striping), and a great Coffin case, as much like an SKB as one can be without being one (with quilted purple lining). The headstock says Gibbs.
This is, with one small exception, precisely the guitar I wanted with I started the process of having it created especially for me. I started with the pickup design (unique in a les paul, as far as I know, as it is not quite the Peter Frampton model, and is light years better than the Ace Frehley), and moved into the body shape, color, etc. and arrived at the guitar I have today. The only difference between my vision and this wonderful finished product is the lack of inclusion of a Black Ice Overdrive unit.

It's my Les Paul, and it's Green. It's the only one. Hell yeah.
Posted at 11:08 PM


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11.4.02


So, as follows:

Show went Great! We kicked ass, as it were. Flash channeled real, actual rage and it infected me. We performed an old one by him, called "chink," the standby "Brand New Song," Cracker's "How can I live without you," and "Let's Start a Riot (the Let's get high, break some shit song)".
It was great.

Work is good. I'm still enjoying it.

PLATIN' PARTY THIS WEEKEND!! Due to a fascinating mistake on the part of the local tax collector, I have to change the plates on my car by the end of April, or I get a TICKET!! HoO rAy! And that meanst we get to do an old fashioned platin'!
(we did this for two invisible citizens at my old house, and it was a lot of fun, believe it or not. I'm looking forward to this, if it goes through.>

I guess that's it. Those who wanna ask me other questions, feel free to do so, but I'm prolly not gonna give an email address here yet, as I am truely afeared of spam.
Posted at 1:13 AM


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6.4.02


The guitar draws near. Soon, soon my precious, it will be mine. Oooohhhh, antici
Posted at 12:28 PM


pation.
Posted at 12:25 PM


If you'd been paying attention, you never would have noticed that there was blood pooling, but you were lucky enough to look away from the Correct and Right thing, and cought yourself staring blankly off into space for a minute, but then you realized that you weren't staring at space, but at a future. Is that future avoidable? maybe. Is it pleasant? nope. What's gonna happen? Good question. If I had the answers, I'd have a 900 number, and change my name to Madam Nihil, and give those answers for $45/minute, because when you've got the right answers, you can charge what you want, because there isn't a soul alive who can compete with that. If somebody had the truth, they'd have a monopoly on it.
Posted at 1:45 AM


Oh, yeah!! Toshi's birthday happened yesterday. We went, thus, to go see Hedwig and the Angry Inch at Zach Stott theater. I was told by my brother that the end of the movie is very different from the end of the stage show.
If you know anything about the show, the following will make sense. It won't however, give away much about the ending to those who haven't seen it.
The stage show I saw basically made it seem that Hedwig and Johnny were the same person, and we'd been watching a drag show by a kid from trailor trash heaven, USA. I hear that in the movie, the ending VERY MUCH does not imply that the two characters are the same. It's about enough to make me want to rent the movie. I'll have to see.
Posted at 1:41 AM


I started my new job on monday. Today was payday. I love relatively instant gratification. I got a check from work, and a check from the insurance. This after they decided that a male under 25 was not allowed to drive a Sports Car (a car with high performance capabilities. It took me almost an hour on the phone to get the a rep from the company to admit that that's why they dropped the insurance. The bill they sent me said I owed them money, which is tricky when a] you've paid for six months in advance and b] you've only had the policy for a week.), and thus weren't going to give me the promised discount on my homeowners insurance. I suppose they changed their minds. Point is, I'm gonna deposit their check.
Yeah, BookPeople is a great place to work, and an even better place to get an employee discount, as the store is filled with things I enjoy, and I now know how to use their computer system, so there's a whole world of ( I already said ) neat stuff in there. I shelve books, I sell books, I find books, I order books. I swear, I do everyting at that job but read books. Dammit.
Posted at 1:35 AM


I am now the proud owner of a wireless mouse and a wireless keyboard. My desk is all cluttered with paper, but there's nary a cord in sight.
Posted at 1:28 AM


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4.4.02


OK, Wow. That's all I can say.
Posted at 8:20 AM


I started work this week. I'll be there today. I actually like my job. More details when I'm not supposed to be leaving.
Posted at 8:17 AM


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